


Video Message

by Adverant



Category: Youtube RPF
Genre: Admiration, Body Worship, Intense, M/M, Masturbation, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Smut, The Intro Is Plot I Guess, attempted dirty talk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-10
Updated: 2016-04-10
Packaged: 2018-06-01 09:39:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6513043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adverant/pseuds/Adverant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He always feels so strong and so beautiful under that unwavering look and even just reading his name and hearing Mark's voice in his head as he clicks his tongue in time to the words as he thinks them makes him feel dangerous and mysterious and ready, brave and confident like he's always told he is. Mark makes him so sure of himself that he doesn't question himself, he isn't ashamed or guilty even in the state of vulnerability he's put himself in for Mark's pleasure.</p><p>Simply because he wants to, simply because he can. He's not scared anymore, and he's certainly not shy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Video Message

**Author's Note:**

> Let's be real, I've been a sinner for a LONG ass time, always nervous to write out the details or dig too deep because of the impression it'll make of me, because of the nonexistent reputation I have with myself. But you know what? I'm not ashamed, and I'm not scared, and I'm not shy. If I'm going to write, I'm going to throw myself at it with no regret and without holding back. I'm a SINNER, but I'm a glorious sinner, and I'm proud of what I've written because I'm kinky like that.
> 
> If you can't appreciate the kind of nerve wracking courage it takes to do this and put yourself out there like this,  
> then FUCK you, I don't care.
> 
> Life's too short. Enjoy your smut <3
> 
> Song if you want a mood setter: "Feels" by Kiiara, the Jai Wolf remix.

He was getting brave, he noticed, holding up the phone that felt so heavy in his careful hands. For a long time their relationship was nothing but safe, completely sound and one hundred percent platonic, but he had another word for it. Slow. They were taking it slow, which was good, all of his relationships were slow, long term and lasting and  _strong_. Until they weren't that anymore, and sometimes he wondered why that was, nothing ever really seemed to be wrong there was just a mutual feeling of "maybe this isn't right for us" and then they left it at that.

He'd mused to himself that maybe it was the distance, and tried a relationship more close to home which proved to be not such a great idea, when he had to have his love interest feign being a fellow fangirl to one of his viewers that had approached them. He had been apologizing for months, and she had eventually ever so blatantly told him that he was being a child and she had forgiven him long ago, unfortunately it came to an end not long later when they mutually decided he was making it too complicated. Everything was so messed up and while he was grateful, he could never wish himself out of a life where he held this amazing job that gave him amazing opportunities and even introducing him to his best of friends.

He'd gone through it all on several occasions, "why didn't it work out?", and narrowed it down to a few things. He was too detached and driven towards work, over working himself at times and at others he selfishly locked himself away. The fans that speculated and assumed didn't help a single bit, pointing fingers and stating blame, and over all feeding his ego and pride that he'll admit runs off with itself into the sunset at times when he's especially riled up. He's energetic and full of life but not everyone can keep up with that, and he's always running off on a thought the second it pops into his head. Then there was the sex life- that he absolutely did not have, not necessarily averted to the idea or repelled by the idea, but more that he didn't find it necessary even with the girl he'd been with that hadn't lived more than a quiet walk away.

He thought he might have been asexual at first, his Korean girlfriend of four years had suggested over-the-phone activities before, but refrained when he shared no interest in it saying it just wasn't his thing. Then he thought demisexual like maybe he wasn't attracted to people he didn't have a strong bond with, which seemed especially strange since all his relationships had been long lasting, it didn't really occur to him that maybe he wasn't attracted to them because they were women. While he admired their lord-crafted bodies, all the soft curves and tiny bumps and smooth features and plump lips and breasts to their touchable butts and warm embraces and gentle touches, his fantasies were never all that sexual towards them.

It was odd to say the least, he had of course growing up as an awkward older teenager been prone to his alone time and 'personal moments', in which he spent in his cabin lying back and enjoying himself while his mind ran away from him with a beautiful vision of imagination and his mumbles stumbled and stuttered. Though, even then his fantasies were always to touch and not to fuck, touching was something entirely different to him than that, touching was making love in a different way in his mind. Not everyone saw it that way, not even he did at the time that he'd had sex for the first time, in that same small cabin all awkward and cautious as though he might scare her away. Not that he'd lie, he definitely had a little trouble getting it up at the time, he'd assumed it was because it was his first time and doesn't doubt it now.

He and that girlfriend broke up a little while later, seeing as she craved his touch and was sexually frustrated and he... wasn't. He could deal without it and it never bothered his mood, so he told her it wasn't going to happen and they had a short and difficult conversation before ending it there. It was an interesting thing, he should have been questioning it long ago and it was almost sad it took so long to get to the point where he recognized something was off, something was different about him and his libido-not  _wrong_ only not the same.

Then Mark proved him gay.

Didn't make him gay obviously because all his past proved that he'd been all along, with an appreciation for the body of course naturally but he wasn't sure even someone who was gay would normally be completely averted of the body of the opposite sex so long as it was without the sexual interaction. Even gays can spot someone attractive visually, he'd assured himself but even then he could never be sure and he wasn't about to tweet a poll on it. Yeah, he was always homosexual and very cluelessly so, Mark just shoved him off the damn fence into dick sucking society. He reviewed that thought in his head as he thought it, maybe that joke was too blunt. He'd have to tell Mark about it, but surely nobody else would share his humor. Even Mark had been a mystery to behold for a very, very long time leading up, it was and continues to be a great run.

At first it was because he was Markiplier that he was attracted, anybody would want that hot bod and not even his sex-averted mind could stop his gaze wandering places a little risque. Just pondering and out of curiosity. Obviously thoughts of how it wasn't really  _him_ to be curious of his best friend's bare torso and dick flooded his mind at some point, having had such feelings for too long to only be noticing their presence after befriending the man. Smitten glances whenever he could spare them when they were together, looming thoughts and longing as well as internet stalking when they were apart, he eventually noticed the immediate difference between his affections for Mark compared to say Signe, his late girlfriend. Oddly enough she predicted he was gay from the get-go and said nothing, which he was openly peeved about when she mentioned it.

Things were awkward after that, but he remained cool and calm around Mark. He thought his attraction was solely for Mark as a man, as a person of Jack's own gender and within his spectrum of attraction as 'gay af'. However the longer he was around the other man, the moments they spent together and the things they shared, the laughs the giggles the fits of hilarity and the sarcastic comebacks, it all began to drag him into a shit storm of things he wasn't ready for. Beginning with the awakening of his sexuality. He was scared of it, at first, thinking something was wrong with him when he woke up with wood a few times. His imagination began running away with the ideas brought forth by his and Mark's teasing that was partially for the humor of the viewers and partially for the amusement of their own, sometimes he found himself responding with "aaahm..." or an awkward and broken, uncomfortable laugh while his brain ran laps of the scenarios that their jokes and jests poked fun of.

While that was unusual, what really tipped him off were the wet dreams. Completely out of nowhere, even all his mental images had been of Mark and Mark alone, singularly and nobody else. The dreams though, they were of him  _and_ Jack. When he woke up after the first dream that he retained into waking, he felt queasy and nauseous the shock literally made him sick, and he had a small breakdown upon the realization. The realization that he, Sean McLoughlin, was in love with the dear heartthrob of Youtube, Mark-fucking-Fischbach. It all but blew his mind.

He didn't waste time, maybe doddled a little just to test the extent of his attraction and to make sure this wasn't some faulty reaction of hormones. He was nervous and unsure admitting his love to Mark, but did so with some confidence, because if what he had perceived in the time he spent testing the limits after he'd come to realization was true then Mark was in love with him too. He was right, Mark only confirmed this and explained his own attractions towards Jack, and even previous attractions that he thought were just him overreacting. They discussed it like normal adults, for a short while until it pretty much dissolved into dick jokes and Ninja Sex Party references that had them both keening with laughter. Mark made him feel different than his girlfriends had, made him feel things he'd never think he would. He felt dangerous, he felt unbelievably important, he felt completely unique and beautiful, and Mark's admiring glances and gaze told him stories of it all. From the concern, to the admiration, to the challenged determination, to the nervousness, to the lust.

He couldn't think of many words to describe Mark's eyes when he lusted for Jack, but  _fire_ , and  _passion_ , and  _hunger_ came to mind. He's never seen eyes so dark burn so bright with desire, or sink and hollow with worry, or melt and glow with love, or spark with finality. He sure was something else, and he wondered if Jack's own eyes reflected any of those similar emotions so clearly as Mark's did so well. He always feels so strong and so beautiful under that unwavering look and even just reading his name and hearing Mark's voice in his head as he clicks his tongue in time to the words as he thinks them makes him feel dangerous and mysterious and  _ready_ , brave and confident like he's always told he is. It makes him want to try things, potentially reputation threatening things that could endanger his career and his self image, but Mark makes him so sure of himself that he doesn't question himself, he isn't ashamed or guilty even with the sleek white device sitting propped up on his dresser flushed from his nose to his chest.

He feels fuzzy and warm, and he was so lost in thought he forgot how long ago he'd hit record for the video message, but he knew his lover wouldn't mind. Mark always talked about Jack's far off look, as if he himself could see into the distance even out to space just through the clouded look, pools of his own personal shade of blue swirling in something that nobody can guess but only he will see. A hot chill trilled from the top of his head and behind his eyes through every nerve and under his spine leaving a tingle in it's wake all the way down to his toes. So lost in reverie he almost forgot what he was doing in the first place, hand moving over his own pale and flushed skin pleasantly, paying the attention he owes to his own body for all the work it does for him. The slightly rough fingertips moved in unknown patterns from the back of his neck down his collarbone and down his chest, lightly dusted in silver brown hairs, reaching down to his navel. He lightly dips a finger into the divot after his palm skims over it, more brown hairs carving a path down his belly brushing under his fingers which he runs through them with an audible hum that might have been entirely for the pleasure of the one and only person who would view this video if it weren't for the tingle that erupted in his lower back from his motions.

Thrill, adrenaline, driven by the new kind of nightlife liveliness that Mark fueled him with like nobody else before him ever could, not even he could generate that kind of energy on his own with his upbeat personality, he could never be daring enough to be dipping his hand low enough to grip the base of his erection while on camera if it weren't for the courage he got from knowing that Mark and Mark alone would see this. His arms erupted with goosebumps, the shrill feeling of anticipation causing a moan to escape his pink lips and break into a whine, and he leaned his head back with his eyes closed and mouth open in a gently agape expression as he ran his fingers up the underside of his erection with a feather light touch. His eyebrows knit in longing and want as he wet his lips with his tongue in a quick motion, gripping his bottom lip with his upper teeth and running them over it before letting go and his breath hitching as his other hand gripped and rubbed his left nipple.

He was careful to take time, he was sexually frustrated as all hell which was a feeling he wasn't used to, but this was for Mark's viewing pleasure and not just for him to get off on his _personal body warship hour_. He wrapped his fingers tight around his dick, twisting his wrist as he moved it down and turned it again when he reached the base, moving it up straight and pressing on the underside of his head. A spark flew up his spine and the whimper he emit was  _purely_ pornographic, as was this whole situation actually but he didn't feel ashamed, no, he felt driven and determined as his furrowed brow deepened and he grit his teeth, up turning the edges of his lips in what could almost be a grimace of impatience and frustration. He twisted his hardened nipple between two fingers and made a few quick and short strokes just to satisfy his desires a little bit and tide off so he could continue to be a camera tease to his boyfriend over seas, starting a steady pace of twisting his wrist on the way up and squeezing his fist on the way down. He felt his dick throb in his experienced palm as the image of Mark's heated gaze found itself on the back of his eyelids, his head hanging forward and spritely green strands of soft hair obstructing the camera's view of his expression. He shook the hair out of his face and drawled out a low moan as he selfishly stole a few quickly-paced and rough caresses on his shaft. He swiped his thumb over his head and felt a shiver, tilting his head back and another lengthy moan vibrating from his throat so low that it cracked a little and hurt his throat, causing him to swallow and his adam's apple to bob. He decided to test the waters with some dirty talk, clearing his throat tentatively. "Mark... A-All I can think about is- augh, Mmark, is your hard cock i-in my..." He swallowed hard, taking a second to consider where he could go with this. "I-in my tight asshole, M-ark... Mmm... Uhhh..." He frowned in concentration, putting a bit more effort into forming words that described the fantasy behind his eyes. "A-and, your warm h-hand stroking me, mmm. Y-your fucking sssexy voice in my ear... pounding me  _h-hard_ into the mattress."

His ass clenched at the thought and his voice squeaked, hips thrusting into his palm and he decided maybe dirty talk was too much to ask of him at that moment, he was too far off in his pleasure for it. He panted as he picked up the pace by a small bit, keeping the pace at a place where he could restrain his greed for release and retain some kind of rhythm. His heart beat pounded in his ears setting the beat of drums and his moans laying down the base, the slightly wet sounds from his hand spreading his precum down his erection creating the melody and he felt like his body was it's own song playing out in a beautiful and wonderful way that was too precious for anyone except Mark to witness for themselves. His left hand tugged and then twisted his nipple, another jolt that went straight to his dick and caused his vocal cords to add the ghost of moans to his panting. He flushed warm again, squeezing his hand tight and digging his nails into his collarbone in time to it, sweat beginning to stick his bright hair to his forehead. He looked up at the phone's camera through his eyelashes, feathered on his flushed cheeks, he felt more than he heard Mark's baritone voice curl around the edges of his mind and moaned out his boyfriend's name. His voice lifted as he sped up his pacing again, the rhythm starting to get lost in the heat and his desperation the chase the escape and relief that was just a moment away, causing his core to tense and relax and his whole body to tremble, toes curling into the sheets on his bed and his shoulders to roll from his shudders, pants reduced to pure and  _loud_ moans that only belonged in adult films if you asked him.

His eyes rolled, head lolling and rolling as he lost himself to the feelings, whimpering out Mark's name again as if it was the only thing grounding him, short staccato whimpers and whines following as he let go and quit holding back, fist moving quickly and his other hand threading fingers through his hair so he could stare straight into the camera. He poured all his emotion into his motions, the feeling so good it was almost poisonous, a kind of toxic he couldn't get from anything else that could easily be described as sickly sweet. Too good to be true, even, but he threw himself forward full force, only speeding up and never slowing down, it was all so intense that he got lost and forgot the camera was even there, taking the pleasure of doing it for his own gain. His tongue ran over his bottom lip before he bit into it again in that little habit and pattern that always got Mark so rowdy and drove him mad, his entire body shook from his efforts as he amplified his moans and calls, cursing and chanting Mark's name like a prayer, like it was the only thing holding him to the earth.

It was an intense orgasm that left him dizzy as he swayed and slowed his hand, coaxing the white and hot strings of semen from him and panting between mutters of his lover's name. As he came down he found that he was too weak to keep himself sitting upright and took it upon himself to lie down, gently rubbing at the places where he was sore from tensing and wiping the cum off himself with his palm. For Mark's pleasure, he licked his hand clean while staring intensely through his eyelashes to the lens. If he was anything, he was definitely photogenic and probably a bit of a whore, but he didn't mind it at all. He wasn't embarrassed because he knew Mark would appreciate it and besides the pleasure he himself received from doing it that was  _all_ that mattered. He was quick to, while gracelessly, move to his iPhone and end the recording, hitting the confirm button for Skype to send the video message to Mark, and basking in his pride for a little while in the after glow of his post-orgasm haze. Now that his temperatures were settling from skyrocketing to neutral, he felt a little bit gross and quite sweaty, so after lying back for a bit to catch his breath and reminisce giddily, he proceeded to take a shower.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it, though it was really only intended to help me claw my way out of the closet of sin and open about being completely void of innocence. I guess if you guys want it, I could make a continuation but I'd like it if you'd let me know. But as for the main point of this:
> 
> It's okay be scared, but have the courage to be yourself, in whatever form it takes.


End file.
